MyNakedTruth!: Jane: Pilot: Hi. My name is Jane. I feel like I should say "and I am an alcoholic." Gosh I am so tempted to say that since after I attended alcoholic anonymous in Quebec, Canada. Anyway, why I am going on a rant you may ask? I have no idea. Well, maybe because I am a woman. A black woman who's mouth is bigger than her heart sometimes. I fee like I should start again.
Hi. My name is Jane. My friends call me Sunshine because I am the light that radiate the energy of their soul. I come from a tiny Caribbean Island where the sun shines forever unless mother nature decides to make us weep with its earthquakes, hurricanes, floods and other natural disaster. It is home to about 10.85 million people who bleed red and blue. Yes, the first black independent nation and regardless of what others say, I am proud of my rich heritage. In other words, I am a melanin dripping goddess drenched in gold, honey and coconut oil from the beautiful island of Haiti. I have called Fort-Lauderdale Florida my home for 11 years, Montreal Canada my home for 2 and now reside in Provo, Utah the land that introduced me to secrets, pleasure and sins..I have 2 sisters and 3 brothers but mostly fly solo. That is probably the most you'll hear about my family but you're welcome to take me to breakfast, lunch or dinner if you personally feel like you need more details :)
I don't really keep friends because it is so hard to find loyalty in this generation so I only keep a few people close. I don't have any enemies either because i'm to busy being a lover and not a fighter. When I was in high school, I used to run cross country and track, dance for the multicultural club and just enjoyed life to the most. Well, I was kind of a nerd. I was a big nerd. I was part of the book club and the poetry club which turned me into the hopeless romantic I am today. I was also president of the Future Educators of America( F.E.A)-for some reason I thought I was going to be a teacher- the multicultural club, national honor society, Spanish Honor Society, some bible club and some other clubs I can't remember. By the time I graduated High school, I had manage to be a straight A student, top 10% of my class and 3 year gold medal winner for competing in the Spanish competition for poetry. Yeah I was very bright and earned my self a full ride to college with thousands of dollars in my pocket. I like to reflect on who I was because I am not that person anymore. When I came to Utah, life introduced me to creatures called men who walked into my life, making me feel things I never knew I could, uttering words of empty promises and showing me the world of endless pleasure and sins. Yeah... And that all led to my current situation.
Hi. My name is Jane. I am 22 years old. I am a victim of love. I am currently paralyzed. I suffer from loveasis. It is a rare disease. Matter of fact, I think I am the only one who suffers from this condition. There are no cure. some days, there seem to be hope. Sometimes there seem to be a remedy but as my head rest on my pillow each night and gazed upon the stars, the swift wind gently kiss my ears and whisper every time " you will never heal." Sometimes I even think of getting hospitalized but for someone as broke as me that is not an option. Only one person have the medicine to cure me. Only problem is: he does not know I am sick. I could try to call or text or show up to reach him but fear have paralyzed me. So once again, I have no choice. I have choices but I can not make any choice. No matter what I do, I will not be cured. So, I decided to chose to suffocate with pride. At least that, no one can take away from me. This is my journey. It had a beginning and now seems to have no end. A journey. Not just any ordinary journey but a journey I am afraid I won't have sufficient oxygen to tell but while I am still breathing, while my heart is still beating-barely- I will start my story. My name is Jane. And this is my story.
Monday, September 18, 2017
Sunday, September 17, 2017
Jane: Pilot
Hi. My name is Jane. I feel like I should say "and I am an alcoholic." Gosh I am so tempted to say that since after I attended an AA meeting in Quebec, Canada. I am not going to say it cause although it is funny in my head, it might not be funny to others. I will be nice, I will be on a leash. At least this time. So let's try this again shall we?
Hi. My name is Jane. I am 21 years old ( at least for a few more days) and I suffer from being in love with Keaton Curtis Cullimore, a fine specimen of the opposite sex. It is sad that we do not have the equivalent of AA meeting for those of us who are sickly and deeply in love with someone else who does not love us back. I mean think of all the money that it would generate. I sure wished that there was a place that I could go to meet others who suffer the same condition as me so i can cry, rant, vent and not feel judged or misunderstood. I feel like someone should invest in one of those programs, you know. Maybe call it LA ( lover anonymous) or LSA ( love syndrome anonymous) or LFA ( love fever anonymous) or even BHA ( broken hearted anonymous). Maybe I should start it. I know a lot of the broken hearted would thank me for it. Maybe it would bring all the broken hearted souls together. Maybe through that same program all the broken hearted would mingle and leave with whole hearts. Broken hearted souls usually understand each other, and who better to end up with than someone else who have been through similar experiences and understand you perfectly? I should start that program. Maybe I should. Maybe I would. Well if anyone is interested in helping me financially, I will gladly accept funds! I mean, I am just a college student, a very broken one. I think I would be the first patient, maybe the most broken patient. Maybe. Just maybe.
So I am aware, very well aware that I am sick. It's a very different illness but it is common and deserves just as much attention as any other. Sometimes, I feel like i can not control it. Sometimes I feel like I can not function. Sometimes I feel like I am near the end. I mean how is it that I let one human being take so much space in my head, heart, and soul? How is it that I "willingly" fell for someone that could not even give me the hope that I need? Maybe I am stupid, Maybe I am foolish, But no, maybe I AM JUST IN LOVE. Yes! It must be love... It has to be love. What else would it be? It is such a selfless feeling. It is so pure. So good ( although it does no good to me). Who is K.C.C? What made me FALL IN LOVE with K.C.C? When did I FALL IN LOVE with K.C.C? Where did I meet/ FALL IN LOVE with K.C.C? Why am I IN LOVE with K.C.C? and last but not least How do I know I AM IN LOVE with K.C.C? I wish I was an organized person who would actually answer these questions in order but unfortunately I am not. So get ready for me to just pour my heart out while you sip on your tea, all cuddled in your pj's. Although I am in love with Keaton Curtis Cullimore, I will not limit this blog to only talking about him and I. I might sometimes write poems, thoughts, songs, etc... But whatever I do, it will always revolve around my broken heart. Stay tune because the symptoms you are about to experience are about to convince you that a broken heart really is a sickness. Hi. My name is Jane. I am 21 years old, and I am K.C.C addict...https://i.pinimg.com/originals/96/5f/12/965f12b08df6ed311c19ff3d9310479a.jpg
Hi. My name is Jane. I am 21 years old ( at least for a few more days) and I suffer from being in love with Keaton Curtis Cullimore, a fine specimen of the opposite sex. It is sad that we do not have the equivalent of AA meeting for those of us who are sickly and deeply in love with someone else who does not love us back. I mean think of all the money that it would generate. I sure wished that there was a place that I could go to meet others who suffer the same condition as me so i can cry, rant, vent and not feel judged or misunderstood. I feel like someone should invest in one of those programs, you know. Maybe call it LA ( lover anonymous) or LSA ( love syndrome anonymous) or LFA ( love fever anonymous) or even BHA ( broken hearted anonymous). Maybe I should start it. I know a lot of the broken hearted would thank me for it. Maybe it would bring all the broken hearted souls together. Maybe through that same program all the broken hearted would mingle and leave with whole hearts. Broken hearted souls usually understand each other, and who better to end up with than someone else who have been through similar experiences and understand you perfectly? I should start that program. Maybe I should. Maybe I would. Well if anyone is interested in helping me financially, I will gladly accept funds! I mean, I am just a college student, a very broken one. I think I would be the first patient, maybe the most broken patient. Maybe. Just maybe.
So I am aware, very well aware that I am sick. It's a very different illness but it is common and deserves just as much attention as any other. Sometimes, I feel like i can not control it. Sometimes I feel like I can not function. Sometimes I feel like I am near the end. I mean how is it that I let one human being take so much space in my head, heart, and soul? How is it that I "willingly" fell for someone that could not even give me the hope that I need? Maybe I am stupid, Maybe I am foolish, But no, maybe I AM JUST IN LOVE. Yes! It must be love... It has to be love. What else would it be? It is such a selfless feeling. It is so pure. So good ( although it does no good to me). Who is K.C.C? What made me FALL IN LOVE with K.C.C? When did I FALL IN LOVE with K.C.C? Where did I meet/ FALL IN LOVE with K.C.C? Why am I IN LOVE with K.C.C? and last but not least How do I know I AM IN LOVE with K.C.C? I wish I was an organized person who would actually answer these questions in order but unfortunately I am not. So get ready for me to just pour my heart out while you sip on your tea, all cuddled in your pj's. Although I am in love with Keaton Curtis Cullimore, I will not limit this blog to only talking about him and I. I might sometimes write poems, thoughts, songs, etc... But whatever I do, it will always revolve around my broken heart. Stay tune because the symptoms you are about to experience are about to convince you that a broken heart really is a sickness. Hi. My name is Jane. I am 21 years old, and I am K.C.C addict...https://i.pinimg.com/originals/96/5f/12/965f12b08df6ed311c19ff3d9310479a.jpg
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